Nineteen Minutes entry 5

Josie's relationship with her single mother Alex is a really important area of the novel. Flashbacks from before the shooting reveal the tough relationship between Josie and Alex. A large result of their strained relationship is Alex's inability to be both a judge and a mother. Alex recognizes this dilemma she faces between her personal and professional life, but tries to continue living her life and telling herself that it is okay. She reassures herself that she is doing the best she can as a mother when she tries to prepare breakfast or talk to Josie. However, it is clear to both Alex and Josie that there relationship was in no perfect condition. I think that our relationships with our family, our parents, are so important because they allow us to see situations from another perspective. Because Josie and Alex rarely see eye to eye, they find themselves in awkward situations. Before the shooting, this type of relationship seemed to be okay. However, it is when something terrible strikes, that causes them to become closer. It is sad to think that their relationship would have always been this poor if it had not been for a tragedy. However, when we are suffering, the worst type of suffering is when we suffer alone. If they would have stayed their separate paths, Josie would have kept all of her emotions inside. Alex and Josie's relationship was still incomplete, but they tried to make it better. The tragedy allowed Josie to become a stronger person and be able to admit her sadness and fears. I think one of the saddest parts of the novel is that despite their recent coming together as mother and daughter, Josie still feels to lie. Instead of telling her mom that she was going to visit Matt's grave, she tells her that she is tutoring middle and elementary school kids in math. Josie should be able to tell her mother anything, but she does not feel comfortable doing so. However, as I re-read this passage now, I can see that there is a great deal of strength within Josie. The reason she goes to the cemetery is to reflect in silence. She feels no pressure from anyone else, she hears no voices, but her own. While she is not honest with her mom, she is being honest with herself at the grave.